That Which Doesn’t Help, Harms.
On performative allieship. tl;dr: stop.
The public’s response of outrage and deep empathy in many ways has overshadowed the extreme vitrol, bigotry and violence of the other side of the white population in America, but in no way has it changed the system one bit. There are no surprises when Pence re-emphasized in a press conference deeming border patrol and ICE as American heroes here to protect our nation, that ICE will never be abolished no matter how center from the far left this issue moves, even if Democrats (another wing of the corporate backed, white supremacist, American two party system) fully backed this position the Republicans will not budge on this issue, after all, the survival of the white race depends on the mass deportation and genocide and enslavement of POC.
Nothing short of mass civilian arrests, protests, riots, civil unrest and ousting this oppressive ruling class which has never really cared about the People and our will, will bring the children closer to their parents and us closer to healing our society. No doubt that whatever we do will negatively impact those at the hands and mercy of people whom are willing to work for a system of modern day slavery, no doubt that if we do not do anything at all these folxs’s suffering will continue to go unchallenged. Damn if we do, damn if we don’t.
There are so many different ways to get involved. This is a large ocean sized oil spill and even if it feels like we are cleaning up our mess a bucket or a drop at a time, that is what we need to do. Understanding and recognizing that we all have our own identities which often intersect and make surviving life from day to day almost an impossibility, we all can do well to be mindful of our place in the world, our skills and passions, our raw power or privileges and think on how to leverage those things in order to equal the plane for all.
One of the things that is most important is to give ourselves grace and room to grow and in every opportunity to take time to learn, get informed and take leadership from the folxs whom you are trying to help. As I have said many times before, intent and impact are two different things and it is important that we self crit in order to discover our own bias, our own areas which need growth and development or just more information.
The past few days I have seen more and more videos of white people going into detention centers with arm loads and trunks filled with gifts for the children that have been detained by DHS.
Call me jaded but I question the motives of these actions. I understand trying to give comfort to a sad child. I also understand as a someone whom experienced DV that abusers oftentimes feel guilty and shower you with gifts. These actions are the societal equivalent of an emotionally stunted abusive partner or parent trying to say sorry without really saying it, because saying sorry would require an acknowledgement of the abuse. In no way am I saying that the individuals doing this have personally ever raised a hand to a child, what I am saying says a lot about the society we live in, where children are tortured and traumatically separated from their families and the people in whose name this is done for do not know what to do to make it better beyond buying cheap gifts.
Worse still than those people whom are just trying to appease their own discomfort with white guilt are the people whom are here for the self congratulatory, for the social media likes, for votes in local races. No matter the motives behind them, these feel like stunts that perfectly display privilege, ignorance and something much more insidious; performative white-saviourism. If these individuals understood (by past experiences of coming in contact with the prison industrial complex in any of its forms) then they would understand that there are certain things you cannot take into a jail, that you’re lucky if you’re even allowed to see a lawyer in a federal facility.
Now admittedly, I haven’t tried it because I am not white and I don’t know how that level of privilege works, but I do not think you can just barge into a federal prison with a santa claus bag of goodies and demand to speak to a manager so that your thoughtful monnogrammed towels are given to the people caged there because you said so, people can’t even keep their own shoes or underpants in certain facilities, Sharon! Considering that young cishet white men politicians and white grandmothers are being arrested for trying to do so, you simply can’t do that. Even if the gifts were taken in, I doubt that your well intentioned gifts will ever be received.
The worst part about this whole fiasco is that as usual this centers whites and their saviorism and derails from more important conversations that need to be had, for more important things to be given views, clicks, likes, attention. Abolishing ICE and the prison industrial complex is the only position to have, the only thing you can support with voice, vote and bodies that will actually change this. Understanding that we are human beings and not pawns in political wars that Our children are not props that won’t be consoled with a cheap bear, a sick carnival consolation prize to the American Dream (Family included!)
Stop using our pain to sell your t-shirts,pins and tickets to benefit shows supposed to raise funds for the community (which the community never sees) or to get you elected or have a reason to go take over another city (being a nuisance to the POC that live there) and taking selfies and sign pics at rallies and marches for instagram.
If you care about us, care completely and quietly. Use your voices to amplify ours. Listen to our leadership. Put your money where your mouth is.
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