Safe Passage.
Where do I go from here?
I wish to say I am shocked. At the election results, the increased violence and outright hate, at every pick to the incoming administration–some kind of favor granted by a despicable man who has built nothing in his life but takes pleasure in destruction. But I am not shocked at that.
I was more shocked to find myself in 2024 unfriending and blocking people I thought were my friends and turned out to be closeted Trump supporters only ‘coming out’ as fascist simpaticos once the election was secured. I thought I had taken the trash out virtually speaking last time around. Surely, after surviving what we collectively survived people wouldn’t like, vote for him right? WRONG. That signature on some measly checks he refused to give out in the first place is all it took to some. His rhetoric of hatred toward a common enemy, being trans and LGBTQ2SA+, migrants, science, history and education in general was more than enough for others. Whatever reason people voted against their self interests doesn’t shock me.
Hell, in another life, I went down those same pipelines. I am empathetic to Why alienated, undereducated, indoctrinated, lonely people tend to go down a slippery slope. I am on the internet, on social media, clocking misinformation and propaganda and trying to dispel myths, change narratives, research the subject and do journalism right. Yet here and now, I face an uphill battle when one side is going by the rules of journalistic integrity and another has aid and support from bad, foreign actors with bots and abilities to interfere in America’s interests.
I am not shocked at the way people are reacting when faced with the realities ahead. Some choose to ignore it. Some choose to think that by adhering to some playbook they will be exempt from the consequences of the actions of the oligarchs in power (doing the bidding of more nefarious players) not realizing the goal posts are alredy moving against them, that nothing is going to allow a passover for the average American, the ecological devastation, economic instability, civil unrest and continued degradation of the values and rights that America holds dear is going to touch everyone except the ultra-wealthy ruling class. It started with marginalized communities but it is ever extending toward all.
From my position and lived life experience. Going from a teen mom with no hope for a life without papers living a half life of christian nationalist indoctrination, hating every bit of myself and others, to pushing and shoving my way into the arts industry as a way to improve my odds of living with dignity in a society that told me every step of the way I was not good enough to exist here, and later creating safe spaces at the expense of my own safety, rising up to become a leader of movements of resistance to realizing myself as an artist, with a practice and purpose and in that time seeing my children grow…. I am most qualified to make the decision I made for myself and family.
At the beginning of the year I had some of my dreams and visions, iykyk. I knew that the good things that were coming my way were to be enjoyed deeply and committed to memory, and that every step of the way I should offer my skills and person to support other’s growth ahead of… what’s ahead. The same feeling that shaped my decision to leave Art Mart and Fredericksburg resurfaced. You must face fears in this new chapter, but will be victorious at the end. The difference in how I am taking thsi reflects who I am as a person. I’ve grown confident in my resolve and resilience.
So I set to work. To be present in my fellowship and learn as much as possible. To say yes to the opportunities to teach others from my experience and expertise. I spoke at about a dozen engagements, from keynote speaking, to sermons, workshops at conferences… I invited people to take my Revolution and keep going forward. I committed to my own self to ‘finish the paintings’ and show them and I committed myself to have a more global viewpoint, knowing that no matter where I am, I will always be Me, with my expertise that has come to me from experiences.
I talked with a lot of people about this decision, most of my friends and family recognize the selfish nature of asking me to stay, to try, to fight again but respect me enough to wish me well and support me. Most not knowing that the last fight almost took me out: I cannot go back. That skin, that person died in burn-out. I have been born a thousand times since then. These past four years of travel, art, nature, joy have given me a taste of freedom and the opportunity to ask myself, ‘what do I want out of life?’
I want travel and connection, I want the opportunity to experience and reflect. I want to create art that isn’t out of rage, pain and survival, out of whatever materials I can find with the limited skills I possess. I want to take care of my health, which is a story for another day. I want to study, know more about myself, family, People, Land. I want to be in service to my community there with all of the skills and perspectives I gathered here. I want to change the world and I cannot do that here. Not anymore.
A few years ago, Apoteca was a small satellite farm in Louisa Country, VA for a greater project called the Virginia Free Farm at Spotted Pig Holler. The Matriarch of this project, which grew TONS of food to distribute to Central Virginia Amy Rose is a Knowledge and Seed Keeper in her own tribe and introduced me to the concept of Rematriating Seeds. I don’t think it is my place to speak on that specific practice itself, however thanks to that introduction, my understanding developed as I learned from other scholars, activists and Elders, that not only should Land and Seeds be rematriated. Us as People, who are like seeds too, should come back to the Land of our Mothers which call us home and pay our Respects.
So that is the big idea. That is the big plan. To finish my fellowship and other outstanding responsibilities I have here in the USA and begin the process of going home on my own accord before 2030. It takes a great deal of paperwork and money to uproot my entire existence of 25 years here (not to mention my own children, bless them for trusting me) and to that end I am working on shows and other means to fundraise for a safe transition. The timelines are iffy and of course subject to change, at some point I will have to fly under the radar again for my own safety. The reality is that deportation is not an unlikely scenario for most of us, especially someone that has become infamous. This is the part where I present you with a link to my go fund me, and ask for any support you can give to see me home safely, soon.
Until then, I will write more, invite you to shows and other artistic productions I will be involved with in 2025 and hope to say hi in person before I fulfill the wishes of the rabid majority and finally “go back” to where I came from. I am forever grateful for the People in my life that are supporting me through this moment. Thank you for reading my words.
Take My Revolution,
Leonina Arismendi
