“I did it my way.”
Countdown: Ten days away from self deportation.
Many time I imagined my homecoming. The hero’s journey ending. I a long, silver haired baddie coming home to bless my people and family after 25 years living in North America, in the USA.
I worked. I strived for excellence even in my most pitiful moments, I fought against all odds — abusive husbands, messy situationships, fighting an entire racist towns, states.. the country… I even wrote a lot of those moments and struggles here and eventually, in writing, I found a level of personal success that I never imagined could be possible for an undocumented person. Those successes are not my own, as I always say, I am a ‘community made’ artist: I’ve had Elders, classes, friends, therapists, teachers, mentors, books, understanding to go off on and even then I’ve made bird-brained decisions that I later worked hard to rectify and grow from (and I have!) That in itself is a privilege.
To believe in change, to believe that you can change is a powerful and terrifying thing. In my life I’ve seen plenty of adult, authority figures taking pride in having unchanging attitudes, as if staying stagnant is a character trait. In those moments I resolved to not be ‘like this’ and to find a better way to ‘be’. In order to be that person, then I had to abandon the idealized older version of me that I romaticized, the realized artivist, wealthy with access and wordly experiences and instead think of me in the now.
I had a dream back in April of 2024 I don’t remember the specific sequence of events, I just remember waking up with the kind of visionary resolve that drove me to push for art mart’s opening and closing. ‘What will I do if Trump won again?’ I had to be honest with myself, I had to honor myself. The last Trump presidency almost killed me, almost separated me from my kids, from my sister, from my friends. I learned of the concept of burn-out whilst I burned alive, unregulated, unhappy, undocumented. During the Biden administration, the work kept going but in a pace much more conducive to healing. I took root in DC, and that city was so good to me. After resolving that if he won, I’d leave, I set to work: I spoke at dozens of conferences, taught everyone from elementary schoolers to professors giving my expertise begotten from experiences: how to support undocumented communities, how to use art and your skills and gifts to support the most vulnerable. I taught thousands of people in one year’s time. I prepared for an exit but not without preparing my community to resist what has come to pass. A white nationalist take over.
Since the election results in November of 2024 I have been working on a safe exit strategy back to Uruguay for myself and my children: in this time I showcased during Miami Art Week, won DOEE’s Sustainable DC Award, participated in Made in DC group shows, provided professional support to clients, spoken at a dozen conferences, curated and sold out the Rematriation Retrospective at Project Create in Washington DC, produced an experimental music show at Rhizome with my friends, supported Angel Rose Collective theater projects and co-created four murals with my kids and local students in the DMV.
Two weeks ago, when Trump militarized my city, I had to flee out to the suburbs without even finishing my suitcase packing. Luckily I finished packing the household and studio stuff I’ll be taking to Uruguay with me and taking down/delivering art work to their new homes. It is just dawning on me after his take over of Union Station too that I might not be able to go back to DC, and in a way, even if physically there, that is not the DC I have come to know and love. That DC exists in my memories now.
With less than ten days to go, I try to focus on the journey that got me here. How hard it was to find space to show my art in this city until the right folks came along to support me in selling out my show, how joyous it has been to co create spaces, art and events with my collegues and friends, even though I had to make the worst decision ever (to me) I am still in the space of feeling so lucky (privileged) to be able to go home on my own terms, to raise the funds necessary to take care of my family through mutual aid, to receive so much love and support from people wishing me the best in this new chapter.
Leonina Arismendi is an award winning Uruguayan artist, human rights advocate and environmental justice activist in the process of rematriation from living in the USA for 25 years back to their Motherland of Uruguay. Support their safe transition: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-the-arismendi-family-in-their-return-to-uruguay
